One of the things that makes conflict so darn difficult are all the Feelings.
Anger and fear and embarrassment are strong, visceral emotions. Once introduced, they can easily dominate a situation.
Two very different things happened in the world of Internetlandia this week that highlight the best and worst ways these emotions can serve you in conflicts.
Let’s unpack each so we can understand the … Read More
Feeling like you don’t have control over what happens in your work is a pretty crappy feeling.
I hear from freelancers all the time about clients who push them around and bills that necessitate taking less than stellar jobs. About the frustration of feeling like the jobs dictate the work, instead of being able to direct one’s own career.
I also know that working a … Read More
Do you have a hard time saying “No”?
Even when you really, really want to say “No”?
Even when you know in your gut that saying “No” is the right thing to do?
You, friend, are not alone.… Read More
I’ve heard the advice,”Fake it ’til you make it!” more times than I care to count. I’ve never given it much thought. I mean, it sounds good and people say it all the time so it must be right, right?
By Austin Kleon via Flickr.com(from his great piece Steal Like an Artist)
But I started thinking about it this week and I’ve decided I kind … Read More
Negotiations aren’t neat and tidy events that happen at the beginning of an engagement and stop as soon as the contract is signed. Negotiations happen all the time and in all sorts of situations, but if you don’t realize you are negotiating, things can get messy pretty quickly.
Here’s how to recognize negotiations that don’t announce themselves with neon signs and some advice for handling … Read More
Preparing for a negotiation can be exhilarating.
That rush of adrenaline that comes with conflict; the challenge of puzzling out options and alternatives to give yourself the best deal; the pride in realizing that you’re standing up for yourself and your work.
And, sometimes, the sharp pain of punching yourself square in the nose.… Read More
For many people, figuring out how to handle emotions is the most difficult part of negotiating. I often get people asking me how they can “turn off” their emotions when in conflict. There are also folks who complain that the other side is unreasonable because they are “too emotional.”
If you are one of the people struggling to get rid of emotions in negotiation, I … Read More
Remember that Jump to Conclusions mat from Office Space? You have one living in your brain.… Read More