All posts in the ‘ Self Awareness Tools ’ Category

Three Things You Can Do to Improve Your Negotiations

A lot of the things I talk about on the blog take some practice; you need to test them out a couple of times before you really feel like you can add them to your box of tricks.  That can feel frustrating when you’re dealing with a difficult client or trying to land a new job.  So here are four things you can do right … Read More

Being Powerful

In negotiation, people confuse “having power” with “being a jerk” fairly regularly.

Go to a third-rate negotiation training and they’ll offer the unhelpful advice of “don’t share information,” “always be aggressive” and “don’t call back if it’s after 4:00 in the afternoon; wait 24 hours and then send an email.”

This advice is bad.  It is The Rules for business relationships.  You can contort yourself … Read More


A brand shiny new year, people!  Full of god-knows-what and well-I’ll-be-damned!

THIS!  This could be the year you do that thing!  Or give up the watchacallit!

By Rob Chandler via

If you haven’t settled on a resolution yet, I’ve got one for you.  It will improve the quality of your business relationships, reduce your stress levels, and maybe even make you more money.

I … Read More

Well, would you look at that.

Delivered direct to my inbox this morning was a snippet of an article about envy and negotiating.  And it made me feel very smug.  Because it’s very similar to what we just talked about in the last post.

Turns out, shockingly, that when we envy a counterpart in a negotiation, we’re more likely to hold back information from them. Or even just  flat out lie.… Read More

Dealing with Disappointment

Personally, one of the most frustrating things about negotiating is that sometimes it just doesn’t work out.

I can do everything that I think will positively influence the negotiation, that will create a valuable, beneficial exchange for both sides, and it just doesn’t work.

For me, “doesn’t work” means we don’t come to an agreement; I get less than what I was after and don’t … Read More

You’re Just My Type

Recently, I wrote about the importance of choosing the right counterpart when negotiating.   To get a good idea of who you should negotiate with, you need to first understand what your natural tendencies are when confronted with conflict.

Thankfully, everyone responds differently in conflict.  I say  “thankfully” because if we all reacted the same way, solving problems would be much, much harder.  As with most … Read More

Dear Money

Oh, Money.

You are so green.  So useful!  So necessary for the comfort to which I’ve become accustomed.

I understand there are some good people who manage to have very happy lives thinking about you only a little bit.  On alternate Tuesdays and every third Friday afternoon.

And even though I recycle, love puppies and volunteer my free time to the betterment of my fellow … Read More

Charming Negotiator is Charming


“Charming People Make Better Negotiators.”

I know.  It is a horrible realization.

In addition to getting The Girl, having the Best Car & being the Nicest Person you’ve ever met, those charming kids get to be better negotiators.


Well, because charming people are charming.

You want to talk to them; you want to spend time with them; you even want to be … Read More

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5 Things to Know Before You Sign Your Publishing Contract

The following is the first of five emails from a free e-course about understanding publishing contracts. You can sign up for the rest of the course here. In any publishing deal, you're in charge. That's because a publishing contract is you giving the publisher permission to use your work. They need permission and


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