Blah, blah, blah, interests, blah, blah.

Am I right?

Ok, fair enough.  You need proof.  I get that.

You just have to do something for me in your next 3 negotiation conversations (talking with the spouse about making dinner? counts!  navigating a tricky situation with a co-worker?  counts!  just about any conversation you have while traveling?  counts!).

Ask questions.

BEFORE you make a decision about the situation, ask at least three relevant questions of the other person.

I can almost guarantee you’ll learn something that will help you find a better solution.

If you don’t, either (1) you’ve already made up your mind about the situation (cheater!) or (2) the questions are more about you than the situation or the other person.

And no, a decision about the situation and your interest in the situation are not the same thing.  Feel free to have all sorts interests in the conversation; just try to avoid adhering to a final position (Thai food take-out, dammit!) until you’ve asked your questions.