It is true. I am.
And, like most people, sometimes I have a hard time embracing that thought.
That’s a perfectly fine neurosis when I’m walking the dog or doing the dishes, but if I’m sitting around thinking, “I’m OK-ish,” when I’m negotiating, that’s a problem.
It’s a problem because that “I’m OK-ish” internal conversation can influence other internal conversations I’m having.
Like, “Well, he said this was their last offer, but it’s not what I need. Should I push back or just accept this and focus on another part of the negotiation?”
The “I’m OK-ish” thoughts make it more likely that I’ll give in and not push back, because I’ll think that as an OK-ish person, I don’t really have the power, influence or ability to push back and get what I need.
So what do you do?
You fake it.
This is not a self-help blog and I have no idea how to improve your self-image.
But I do know that as a human being you are susceptible to psychological tricks. And that you can use those tricks to give you the confidence you need to get through a thorny conversation.
To begin: I need you to open iTunes and spend the next hour doing some very diligent research.
I need you to determine which song in your library gives you the biggest jolt of “I am Awesome!”
The song should produce spontaneous fist pumping, happy dancing, ridiculous smiles and the sudden desire to run a marathon. Listening to the song should feel not unlike being on drugs: while listening you should have the sense that you can do just about anything, perhaps even fly.
Now make sure that song is readily available on every piece of technology you own. You should be able to listen to it just about anywhere you are with little effort.
The next time you have a phone call that involves a negotiation you’re not particularly psyched about, listen to the song first.
Listen to the song while typing out a difficult email addressing a challenging client.
Sing along with the song in the shower while you’re thinking about how you’re going to introduce yourself to that awesome gallery owner at tonight’s party.
That song is your theme song. And it’s what you use to trick your brain into getting on the “I am awesome!” bandwagon before any important conversation.
It will give you the confidence to wholeheartedly engage in those tough conversations and not be distracted by those nagging “I’m OK-ish” thoughts. All you need is a little bump to get you started. And once you start you’ll be amazed at how well you do.
Because, after all, you’re awesome.
Categories: Self Awareness Tools
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