Delivered direct to my inbox this morning was a snippet of an article about envy and negotiating. And it made me feel very smug. Because it’s very similar to what we just talked about in the last post.
Turns out, shockingly, that when we envy a counterpart in a negotiation, we’re more likely to hold back information from them. Or even just flat out lie.
Rather than focus on our interest in the negotiation at hand (what we wanted when we were calm, cool & collected), we start responding emotionally to our counterpart. Our focus shifts to Social and Life interests that surround the deal and those interests subtly take control.
We likely don’t even realize it’s happening. I know that some of the ways I hear it come up most often is, “I can’t let him pull something like this,” or “I need to show her that I have the power in this situation.”
Now, posturing can be important in a negotiation, but if it’s what you’re focusing on and reacting to, you’re not focused on the Deal. You’ve shifted your focus to your Social interests. You should not expect that the actions you take on behalf of your Social interests will improve the Deal. Your Social situation? Yes. The Deal? No.
For those of you nerdy like me, the study the article referrences can be found here. Enjoy!
Categories: Self Awareness Tools
Tags: communication, expectations, interests, Negotiation, strategy, Stress