7 responses

  1. James Babb
    January 7, 2014

    Thanks Katie, you’ve given me new hope for dealing with my very own Major Stupidhead! Instead of seeing him as totally unreasonable (based on past experience), I will try seeing him as someone I can still work with, although maybe on a different level. We shall see…

    Reply

    • Katie Lane
      January 12, 2014

      Best of luck, James! Even when you’re doing what you know to be the right thing, it can be hard. I hope the slightly different perspective helps you get beyond his unreasonableness and toward something more productive.

      Reply

  2. M!ke
    January 12, 2014

    Great post, Katie.
    I’d add something that I picked up from “Everything’s An Offer:” when you show the other person that you’re interested in what they have to say, if you acknowledge their interests as valid, even if you don’t agree what those interests, they’re more likely to open up to your interests. Even though they may disagree.
    Ultimately, we all want to feel heard.

    Reply

    • Katie Lane
      January 12, 2014

      Thanks, Mike! You’re right; we all want to be heard and the validation of being heard can do wonders for our mood and approach to a situation. Which, ultimately, can help us find a solution to the negotiation so we can move on to the stuff we really want to do.

      Reply

  3. Wendy Ice
    February 22, 2014

    More great advice. On a similar note, back when I did competitive debate, my coach advised me to “fight fire with water”. The more nasty the other side became, the more pleasant I became. It was very effective, and turned distressing situations into a kind of game. It inevitably made my opponent feel self-conscious about their nastiness (very few people really want to be the bad guy). Judges naturally sided with me (the more likable party) and I sometimes ended up being friendly with the competition after the round.

    Your strategy also encourages more objectivity. It’s impossible to be objective when you’re viewing someone as a villain.

    Reply

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